Another weekend is here! Not that it matters to me. Life is a weekend for me! But I’m back with another epic adventure about Captain Toebeans, in poetry form, of course.
Fellow felines, do your hoomans get sleep paralysis? Mine does sometimes. Her demons love to visit. I don’t mind bringing my own demons, but I prefer my food source not to be touched. I could hunt for myself, but I like my posh life. So, in turn, I protect my hoomans.
It’s after midnight, the shadows come out to dance,
And demons try to steal Mum’s sleep.
My alter ego kicks in, I stand guard,
Captain Toebeans, I’ll make them weep!
I unsheathed my claws, and my eyes keen,
I strike the demons, blow by blow.
“Not today, you ugly fool,
Feel my wrath and go back to the below!”
Pouncing through the air, leaping with grace,
No demon will touch my food source.
I swipe and scratch at the fool,
With no remorse.
And just in case they try to get at Dad,
I’ll make them run off crying.
For my pawrents are my food supply,
I will make sure you lay there dying.
I flex my claws and send it to the abyss,
I let out a sigh of relief and grinned.
Then, curl up back on Mum’s legs,
If they come back, I make sure they will be skinned.
Weekly Fun Fact
Contrary to your ridiculous beliefs, cats DO bond with their hoomans. We show that by following you around, sleeping with you and alerting you by making noise. After all, you’re our food supplier.
Don’t expect us to jump in and fight, though, we’re not you, we’re not dogs. Unless, we feel really threatened, then maybe we might just jump in to defend you.
And on that bombshell, Nezuko out.