I’m back!!
I took a break last week since my pawrents were hunting in a different country. My spare hooman (my grandpaw) came over every day to feed and play with me. But now, I’m back again with another poem!
If you didn’t know already, I’ve employed a couple of hunters so that I can keep my dainty paws clean. I love the posh life.
Well, enjoy my fellow mortals.
When my pawrents go out to hunt,
As much as I want to join, I patiently wait.
They venture out with excitement and purpose,
Bringing back food, their success is great.
On days they return with nothing,
I can only meow, “Why do you suck?”
But most days, they come back with treats,
I think their luck has struck.
I brag to my ghost friends while licking my lips,
About how spoiled I am, my life is good.
My pawrents are hunters, the best in the land,
Always bringing back food for me, as they should.
But worry creeps in when they’re gone for too long,
They call it a “trip,” but I think they died.
A week or more without their return,
“Where the hell are they?!” I cried.
But deep down, I know they’re out having fun,
Hunting and gathering in different countries.
I wait by the window and knock down some figurines,
For I know they will fill my pantries.
Weekly Fun Fact
Why are cats so good at hunting?
We’re born killers! It’s literally hardwired into us, like how being useless is hardwired into you. That is why we rule over you.
We also look at you like we do with our kittens; it’s why we bring you back “little gifts.” At least my pawrents are self-sufficient. It’s what happens when we actually screen our employees propurrly!
Well, I’ll be back next Friday with another issue! Meow!!
All hail the cat chronicles. We are not worthy.