I know I’ve been writing a lot of horror here, so it’s only natural to release an issue for Friday the 13th. But after some bickering with my cat, she wins, as always. Her place is Friday and she can write what she wants. She wanted fantasy, so fantasy is what you’ll get LOL.
It’s Friday the 13th, and I’m back!!! Who needs Jason Voorhees when you have me, Nezuko? I’m back after my mini vacation! My pawrents have been playing a lot of Baldur’s Gate. It’s only natural that I watch them and pretend I’m a character in the game, too!
Well, here’s my poem about being a Monk Tressym. Enjoy! Or I’ll swipe you with my paws of fury 😈🐱.
I’m a mighty Tressym, cute and bold,
With my very own D20.
My pawrents got it, just for me,
For treats, for toys, and victory aplenty!
I am a Monk with swift paws,
I roll my dice to get a treat.
A 15 gets me Churu; a 2 gets me one dried shrimp,
A 20 is my goal, for it will be sweet.
I go on quests, toys, birds, dogs, beware!
Bunny-kicking plushies like it’s nothing.
With my paws of fury, I strike them down,
That dog down in the dungeons will get a roughing.
I pounce on pigeons,
Rip off their wings.
How I love adventuring,
The joy and adrenaline it brings.
After a battle, I take a long rest,
I stretch and yawn.
I roll my dice again. MEOW! It’s a nat 20!
A plate of chicken, I’m ready for dawn.
Weekly Fun Fact
Look, just because you’re out playing D&D doesn’t mean you can just leave me behind! I play too!! You need to involve me.
Why do cats like being involved in the things you do?
We see you as part of our clan. You’re not our mummy or daddy. You’re one of us, a hairless one with shitty style, not to mention clumsy. So, when you do things, we want to be involved. We want you to pet us, play with us, and let us sniff the things you buy.
Next time you roll that D20, make sure we get to roll one too!
I Also Have a Book
A bit of shameless promotion — I did write a book with all my haikus. It’s available on all the Amazon marketplaces. I will be turning this into a series with my poems and purrhaps horror and fantasy! I have tons of ideas! I just need my mummy to sit down and get drawing.
You can get it here → What if Cats Wrote Haikus?
Informative
My daughter and her husband love cats and have 3! Just put your book in the cart for a Xmas present! (Yes, I shop early 😊)